I just got done reading Setona Mizushiro's The Cornered Mouse Dreams of Cheese. (Instead of doing any remote definition of the word "work.") The entire volume is available translated.

The story lives up to the amazing title. It starts with a trope: the private investigator, Imagase, who blackmails the cheating man he's had a crush on for ten years--to kiss, and only to kiss--at first. Of course. But the story refuses to turn sordid. What it turns into is a slash fan's wet dream: the serious exploration of what it means to be "straight" and having a physical relationship with a gay friend; the use of flaws within a character to drive the story's engine; true love and all the misshapen, broken bits that come with it, the things that don't quite fit anywhere else.

The trope of questionable consent that's so laughably bad-wrong in so much of BL/yaoi ("Your words say 'no' but your body says 'yes'") is turned on its head (like this author is SO GOOD at doing) when it's Ootomo, the main character's modus operandi. We're told again and again--by the Imagase, by Ootomo's wife and numerous girlfriends and mistresses--that if they hadn't first forced an issue, nothing would have come of anything. Ootomo is never one to start or end anything, and as much as he protests, he never really says 'No.' It's an excuse Ootomo himself makes for his numerous failures to weakness.

But the thing is, Imagase knows that about him. "You're indecisive and you haven't got a backbone so you can't be trusted," he tells Ootomo in one scene. The really interesting thing about Imagase is that he's at once feverishly obssessed with his first love but also able to see extremely clear-eyed into the situation. He knows where all the pieces are and exactly how they fit with each other. 

There's one breathless, crystalline moment--when Imagase reaches a breaking point with his frustration with Ootomo, and he tells him:

You say you won't have sex, but you never defend yourself when it comes down to it. You can do it when you think you're forced to. Maybe that's your way of saying yes.

But I won't go along with that.

It's hard to get to where I am from where you are now. Are you thinking you'll just close your eyes and I'll lead you there?

Please don't think it will be easy.

Guh. Just--guh. Beginning to end, this just had be holding my breath. I love Setona Mizushiro a lot. A lot a lot.

This is the same mangaka who did After School Nightmare, which I still have not read the end for yet--and salivating for.

cinderfallen: (Default)
( Nov. 16th, 2008 02:50 pm)
I realized that I had stuff lying around from raids to the dining hall, so I made a face-softening mask. It was really hardcore and it kind of stripped a few layers of skin off my face until I re-adjusted it and added more yogurt. The second person I tried this on had a tingle, no burning like I did. Note to self--for the future, think twice about rubbing raw pineapple on face. On the other hand, my face is really, really, baby-butt soft. So's the other girl's, with less burning action.

Enough to make a fuckload of face mask, to share:
1 container organic yogurt, blueberry on bottom (I like to think there's some antioxident power here. I didn't actually use all of the yogurt--just scraped off the top about 3/4. Liked to think it was "blueberry-infused.")
2-3 tablespoons honey
1/4-1/2 cup pineapple (for its natural enzymes, sloughs off dead skin)
a slosh of eggnogg (mhmm, milk and cream for its gentle lactic acid. and eggs for protein.)
cinderfallen: (Default)
( Nov. 4th, 2008 11:47 pm)
I'm happy about Obama, worried about Prop 8. I remember when it last came around and it doesn't look like much has changed in California. =/
cinderfallen: (bucket hits the panda.)
( Nov. 4th, 2008 02:17 pm)
Eyeball Records is releasing an election mix sponsored by Rock the Vote available only today. If you're interested, go get it! I haven't listened to the mix yet myself. But free music! Legal! Always nice.


01. Pompeii - "Rabbit Ears"
02. The Stiletto Formal - "We Are All Muckrakers"
03. Astronautalis - "The Trouble Hunters"
04. Man Without Wax - "Ones & Zeros..."
05. E For Explosion - "Lies Lies Lies"
06. An Albatross - "...And Now Emerges The Silver Pilgrim"
07. Wolftron - "Crystal Skulls"
08. The Bronze Episode - "Poisoned Autumn"
09. Metroid - "EVP (Electric Valtine Remix)"
cinderfallen: (Default)
( Oct. 19th, 2008 05:54 pm)
You know what's kind of scary about the election is that I found myself saying at one time, "Oh, I wonder if I have the authority to be saying all this compared to "fuller" Americans whose families have been here longer than mine have...." and then I thought, WTF. That's the tone the election process has been taking and it--pissed me off, but more than that it kind of scared me that I could be felt like I could be made to feel like I'm not "as" American as the white folks.
cinderfallen: (Default)
( Oct. 15th, 2008 10:12 pm)
Whoa, Obama's support for Roe v Wade and abortion has the Republicans rating the highest.

And WHAT. Republicans ratings continue to top both Independents and Democrats. WEIRD.

But I was really, really pissed off about McCain's stance on education. As someone who came from the shittiest schools in America and then went on to one of the best, I can tell you that money does A LOT. Having textbooks that aren't from the 80s? That aren't literally falling apart and barely legible? And teachers who will do more than sit at the desk and have kids COPY OUT CHAPTERS FROM TEXTBOOKS for the entire class period because the students are all stupid lazy fuckers who grew up in that kind of education system and teachers don't get paid enough to deal with them? Yeah. Vouchers are going to help a whooooole lot. There were a lot of kids in my 9th grade class still struggling to READ. And I knew just how bad they were at it because that's all we did in class. Read out loud in one long chain, one paragraph at a time, from a textbook. Obviously this was a school who was GETTING TOO MUCH MONEY, MR. MCCAIN.

I left public school in 10th grade to a private school. It was a good school. It also cost 20 thousand dollars a year to attend. They were socially progressive and half their tuition went into scholarships, and I'm poor, which is the only reason I was able to go, but seriously. SERIOUSLY. A proper education shouldn't have to cost that much. You shouldn't have to "shop around" to avoid having to go to a dirty, falling down piece of shit BLACK HOLE of STUPID as a place of learning.
cinderfallen: (Default)
( Oct. 15th, 2008 09:42 pm)
Oh god. I can't watch this debate. McCain is getting KILLED. There was a point when Republicans did a nosedive when he started talking and it just kept going, even lower than the DEMOCRATS' reactions.
cinderfallen: (Default)
( Oct. 14th, 2008 09:51 am)
I know it's really awful to feel happy about obvious media censorship, but WB? I kind of like you and your transparent bias and unconvincing excuses against airing Republican propoganda movies starring McCain and his favorite Vietnamese Hilton.

Maybe because usually, it's the other party pulling this shit.

In other news: the medication that works for me costs as much as buying a new iPod every. month.
cinderfallen: (Default)
( Oct. 11th, 2008 02:01 am)
There was sort of a foursome on the dance floor and I made out with two girls. So far my ratio of girls to guys is kind of fucked towards the XX side. Although it was kind of flattering.

Also, tranny porn is kind of hot. They usuallly show porn during Queer Bash on a projecter, but past years kind of leaned towards the lesbians and straight(???) variety. This year I guess was a trans theme.
cinderfallen: (Default)
( Oct. 10th, 2008 10:50 pm)
I was going to write about Stephen Colbert's 2006 White House Correspondent's speech but fuck it, I'm dressed in a red corset and fuck-me skirt and I'm missing Queer Bash so I'll do that tomorrow. Also I'm drunk. See ya on the flipside.
cinderfallen: (Default)
( Oct. 7th, 2008 04:52 pm)
I really liked this entry about a Virginian independent who went to a McCain/Palin ralley back in early September. It gives a look at the folks in Palin-land a sensitive portrayal. I mean--yeah, the majority makes me sad they're contributing to the gene pool but.

One of the people who laughed spoke to me for a bit. He seemed quiet and down to earth. I asked him if Palin was the what McCain needed. He said, "She will get him votes, but I don’t like her too much." I asked why? He said, "Being a good soldier means agreeing with the end result, and not how you got there." He looked square at me, and I nodded. What could I say? In the middle of a GOP love fest?

"You know, it doesn’t have to be this way though." I responded.

"For now, it does." He replied.

On the other hand, it's frankly disgusting the fever pitch of mob racism and hatred Palin has stirred among the least common denomination of America. I don't believe in God, but that? That is true evil.

I used to read the left wing news outlets like Huffington Post that bash McCain's character with great delight, but not anymore. He would be an awful president that would be just like Bush and the publicized personal mistakes and flaws he acquired over his long life was just mud for the campaign. But I always took it with a grain of salt, both the good and bad things I'd read about him. But by him standing by and saying nothing against the vitriol and bile that Palin is producing and encouraging to the public, the kind of things that take us back 50 years or more in civil rights and common human decency--

I can't read it. I'm starting to actually, truly believe McCain is deep down, a bad, immoral man in a way that goes way beyond political mudslinging or human flaw. And I'd jus rather not do that to myself.
cinderfallen: (bucket hits the panda.)
( Oct. 6th, 2008 12:56 am)
I love the Obama campaign. You know why? They know how to FIGHT.

I got so freaking frustrated by the 2004 elections when Kerry was getting hit left, right, and center with all that "flip-flopper" crap. They just sat back and took it--and nothing they managed to dish out made even a dent on BUSH circa 2004, who you'd think would NOT be a hard person to get some decent ammo on.

But Obama's people, now. :D In response to McCain's lame attempts of "turning the page" on the economic crisis and calling Obama unAmerican and consorting with terrorists, Obama's people just cocked their heads and went, "Well, now...."

According to politico.com's article, there's going to be a 13-minute documentary about McCain's involvement with the Keating 5 scandal uploaded tomorrow. The brilliance of this move is two-fold:

1. The documentary is "Retaliating for what it calls McCain's 'guilt-by-association' tactics," reports Politico. McCain was only friends with Keating, but he also got officially implicated in the Keating savings and loan scandal (part of the 5).

I love this. McCain tries to smear Obama by implicating "terrorist" association when Obama barely knows Ayers (and was 8-years-old when the bombings happened)--then okay, Obama comes right back at McCain with a parallel situation where he's actually part of Evil League of Evil.

It cuts both ways: either McCain's attacks were just that--attacks on Obama maligning his character and *more* than racist-tinged, or McCain is *at least if not more* guilty than Obama for choosing his friends among the politically corrupt.

2. The Keating 5 was a savings and loan scandal that was one of the biggest economic toilet-dives of its time, brought about by federal deregulation, so the Obama camp is *also* going to try and link McCain to a history of bad economic choices. As it happens, THE issue McCain's campaign is trying to outrun as fast as they can.

This counterattack is just so...elegant. *admires it some more*
cinderfallen: (Default)
( Oct. 1st, 2008 05:04 pm)
There's controversy over the moderator for the VP debates, Gwen Ifill, who's writing a book set to come out sometime next year, titled The Breakthrough: Politics and Race in the Age of Obama. I mean, it looks obviously like a relevant issues book about the political reaction that Obama's elicited in his campaign from the people, but once again, I think the Democrats are overestimating the intelligence of the American people and underestimating the petty shrewdness of the Republican campaign engine.

The McCain camp claim that "they didn't know" about Ifill's book, even though they agreed to her moderating a week or two AFTER the book's press release hit the wires. Bullshit. But what I'm really steamed about is this: I think they DID know and were counting on and delighting in this fact. Isn't it just like the Republicans to accept and then pretend affront later when they "find out" the "deception," all the while appealing to the hot-blooded, average six-pack Joes?

The conservatives have already pointed fingers, saying that the moderator has an obvious bias for Obama.

Palin--well, the Democrats are trying to raise expectations for her debate so she doesn't get a default win just for avoiding starring in her own SNL skit again, and Biden is practicing debating against a woman so he doesn't come off as sexist, but that's not going to help when the other camp already has their gun loaded and ready to fire with, "That was unfair! The moderator was biased! She was mean to Sarah! And the mod's got money riding on Obama winning!" etc. etc. etc. AD NAUSEUM.

McCain is supporting Ifill. For the moment.

From the Huffington Post:
"I think that Gwen Ifill is a professional and I think she will do a totally objective job," said McCain, "because she is a highly respected professional. Does this help that if she has written a book that's favorable to Sen. Obama? Probably not. But I have confidence that Gwen Ifill will do a professional job."

Does anyone else get a sense of oily self-satisfaction and smarm coming from this quote?

"Win" or "lose" the debate logic-wise, Palin will be the one to come out ahead with the people's sympathy and righteous indignation.

I swear, come the next morning, McCain's aged, experienced, ex-POW face will turn red as he goes on a tirade about the atrocity of the media liberal bias infecting what's supposed to be neutral moderating; self-serving interests; favoritism toward Obama; and the horrible, unAmerican, Democratic tradition of baby-eating. While Palin sits pretty, like she's supposed to.

I wish they'd just get a new moderator that won't encourage the McCain-Palin circus and soap opera media feeding frenzy.
Anyone else been massively curious how we got this economy? And there aren't any clear answers coming from the media or a good explanatory summary coming your way anytime soon? Just talk and talk and talk about that ridiculous bail-out?

How the financial bubble burst.

WHY THANKS, AL JAZEERA. That cleared it up for me tons!

I don't know. Maybe there was and I missed it, but it seemed like it was suddenly "Surprise! The economy's down the drain and the only relevance this has is to be a talking point to improve points during the presidential campaign!"
cinderfallen: (reaching slowly)
( Sep. 22nd, 2008 04:26 pm)

Is it just me, or is this entire political race sounding like an absurd shounen manga?

From BBC
"The silver-haired, battle-hardened, Washington insider versus the self-styled hockey mom from the remote reaches of Alaska."

...FIGHT! I'm expecting them to pull out some kind of super yeast to make the best bread in Japa--uhm. And that would be Yakitate Japan.


And...I still can't believe this is a real race.

[Impending fatherhood] may also explain why the limelight-ready rocker is happy to lay back and let his front man, Patrick Stump bask in the sonic spotlight. "On Infinity, we realized that Patrick's voice was something people loved, so we cleared a lot of space for his voice," Wentz says.

I find this interesting because I seem to remember an interview where Patrick says the complete opposite--that he got sick of the songs being all about him, him, him in Infinity and the new would hopefully feature a fully integrated sound. 

This sounds like one of the better MotW plotlines for a Supernatural episode. Winchesters and ghosts have always gone well together, I see!

The Winchester Mystery House

In 1881, Sarah Winchester, the widow of famous gun maker Oliver Winchester, became convinced that she needed protection from the evil spirits of all the people killed by Winchester rifles. A psychic advised her to continually add rooms to her San Jose, California, mansion to confuse any ghosts that may try to find her. (It's not clear why ghosts, which can supposedly move through walls, would be confused by the rooms, but it apparently made sense to Winchester.) She did so for nearly forty years, adding more than 100 rooms and staircases, until her death in 1922. After Sarah's death, her own ghost was said to haunt the halls of her mazelike mansion. Today the building remains a popular tourist attraction, a bizarre monument to superstition and paranoia.

Reading this article's (ears evolved from gills!) comments made me realize that...REALLY realize that there's a contingent of people who actually, truly believe that science is a joke and evolution is one big conspiratorial lie. As in, wow, God spontaneously created human beings. Anyone that says otherwise is...going to hell?

("There is a price to pay for every sin...and I will pray for everyone involved in the publishing of this garbage. ... Who believes what some scientist says just because you don't want to believe in God? In my opinion, believing in evolution requires just as much, if not more, faith than believing in my God ever has!")

I mean. I knew intellectually? That this school of thought (haha) exists. But the debate is talked about so often that it kind of becomes a joke. (Haha, oh Sarah Palin, was Jesus friends with the dinosaurs?) Until you realize no. NO, there are people who are fighting to disprove evolution. In the 21st century. The reality of the situation scares me more than a little.

Is this an American-specific thing? I'm ashamed to think that it is.

But haha, best comment EVER: "You know, I am beginning to think that coming here is kind of like porn for creationists and IDers. They KNOW that their position is absurd and irrational. They are surronded with self deludded morons like themselves all day, which you have to admit must be REAL boring. So they come here for the forbidden fruit of reality. EVOLUTION."

cinderfallen: (Default)
( Sep. 12th, 2008 04:28 pm)

Arianna Huffington came to speak yesterday and somehow I didn't even know about it 'til just now. =/