I'm reading a Newsweek article that hurts my brain because I kept wondering if I was reading some kind of parody...or RPS. (RPF? Gen?) So, you've got Brad Pitt, Robert Downey Jr., Anne Hathaway and some other Oscar-nominees at a roundtable.... (Robert Downey Jr. is crazy cracked-out and AWESOME. And WTF with his segue?)

Hathaway: OK, I have a confession. I lied before when you asked if I Googled myself. I do. I embarrassed by it because I know how terrible it is.

Downey: Wait a minute, should I feel s----y that I Google myself?

Hathaway: You should feel s----y about other things, Robert.

...

Pitt: I feel for the people who are just getting into the business. It sets the wrong focus.

Downey: I got a story for you. I go to Japan. "Iron Man" is opening there. I'm like, dude, this is my walk of fame. I go there and they go, [he mimics a Japanese accent] "Small problem with your passport, it links up to some incredible criminal activity." I'm like yeah, yeah, yeah. "You did not make claim of said activity." I was like, "I got tired." "We would like to interrogate you." I was like, "Interrogate? Fine, great." Six hours later, I'm sitting there in the Japanese interrogation suite. A lady comes out, "So were you in jail or prison?" I go, "Both." "How long?" "Sixteen months." "Do you know the name of the first infraction you had in 1995?" I was like, "It's hard for me to remember because I've been arrested so many times." "We cannot let you enter our country." They decided later that I can come in to do the press, "But I must please never come to Japan again." So I'll wrap this up quickly. We go to the Iron Chef restaurant. They give me the finest Kobe beef, and I am doubled over for yoo-hoo status for the next two days.

Langella: I don't know what that means.

Downey: I ate a piece of beef that was super-expensive, I got a parasite, and I was yoo-hoo. I was Brown Betty for two days.

Langella: See, he has his own language.

Downey: Then what happens, a Japanese robot shows up on the red carpet. He carries in a 500-pound barrel of sake. I'm going like, I kind of have plans for Christmas, you should keep that away from me. They wanted me to smash the sake cast open with the robotic Iron Man.

Pitt: There's some wacky humor going on over there. Japan, those toilets, all automated. They fumigate, they spray, they massage.

Hathaway: They compliment!
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